The last 48 hours have been quite a roller coaster of emotions.
I was happily sitting here counting my blessings, playing with the dogs, lunching with a friend, and later laughing with my husband when we got a letter in the mail that brought everything to a standstill. I freaked out. My husband remained calm (which annoyed me). The evening ended with me yelling at him, in tears and retreating to the bedroom to think. He left me alone to calm down. Was that the best move? Probably but it doesn't really matter. I knew he was worrying just as much as I was but my reaction was a bit more dramatic.
Neither of us slept well due to tossing and turning. At about 3:30am I realized he wasn't asleep either so we discussed the problem and tossed solutions back and forth. We didn't come up with any and eventually we stopped fighting sleep and gave in. I woke more calm than I could have ever imagined. Somewhere between loosing it and the rising sun, I decided on a solution (or at least part of a solution) to the problem. It only required me to wake and find energy to do some research and make some phone calls. And lo and behold, the problem was not so big.
The situation is still not favorable but there is no way around it. In fact, it's something I've been thinking about a lot lately. Of course it becomes reality just as we are in a budget crunch. But I'm a firm believer that God is always taking care of me so I guess that explains the odd calm I'm experiencing.
I'm almost back to myself but know I will be facing some difficult times in the next month or two so I had better figure out a better way to deal. There's only so much I can put in a blog and my listening ears are far and in between lately. Everyone's got their own problems and I'm thinking this is a larger test to see how well I deal on my own. I had finally learned to depend on the husband to lean on in times of stress but this time I won't be able to do that. So i'm pulling up my old independent britches. The ones I somehow allowed to sag over the last couple of years. I'm gonna get through this.
Quote of the Day: Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson