Sunday, August 12, 2012

Headed in the Wrong Direction

So the last few weeks have been challenging.  I won't lie and say I searched for the positive.  No...a few times I just sat there and stewed in my pity.  This is not to say my troubles are all that serious.  It's just me giving in to stress (I know better) and sometimes letting it take over for days.  Once the stress has the upper hand, it makes me sick and pitiful.  When I'm sick and pitiful I give in to things that make it worse.  Things like eating bad for me food and skipping workouts.  But I think I'm back where I should be.  Mostly...

Starting out was hard.  People around me were making it difficult.  One rare cooler day I decided to go sit in my car for lunch and chill.  Thirty minutes into it a coworker comes and knocks on my car and hands me this Frosty.  WTH? Well, I didn't even get a chance to protest as she just walked away.  Well...I don't know that I've ever mentioned it but I'm not a big fast food freak.  But when I do get the hankering, I often end up at Wendy's.  When I'm at Wendy's I get a fries and a frosty.  That's it.  Needless to say this particular frosty did not get wasted.  I ate it all.  Just know that it is was much smaller than it looks on this picture.  It was very small. Very small...

I've also been lazy about my lunches.  I don't mean I'm going out eating everyday.  I still bring my lunches.  They are just lacking in creativity and balance.  Here is one lunch I threw together 10 minutes before I had to be out the door.  It looks pitiful but it was actually pretty good.  I've been digging the olives and pickles lately.  I don't know what that's about since up until a few weeks ago I didn't even like pickles.  

My last confession involves the workouts.  When I say I've been skipping workouts I really mean I've been dropping the cardio days.  I've said it many times and I'll say it again. I'm not perfect.  I'm so imperfect I'm going to go ahead and admit that I don't like cardio.  I'd say I hate it but that's a bit harsh.  I've never been crazy about it but add in stress and work and it magnifies the dislike.  Over the past couple of weeks I've been making my class on the strength and flexibility days and talking myself out of the cardio ones.  Instead I've been coming home and infrequently doing a video here or there.  Alex told me that it seems I have more motivation when I do it with the class.  He's probably right.

But when I walk in and see this image my motivation plummets. We've been on the rowers it seems every cardio day because it's too hot to use the track.  The rowers taunt me and tell me I going to be tired even before I sit down. Exaggeration?  Of course! But it's been hot, I have a lot going on at home and work has ramped things up.  Wah, wah, wahhhh.....  I know.  I'm whining and have been doing so for days. 

My husband gave me a 'pep' talk last night.  I won't go into detail but basically he said if I continue on this path I will be in a place where I will have to start all over.  He's right.  It's not like I didn't realize this but having someone else point out that they see where you are headed makes it more real.  So I got up this morning and hit the trail.  I chose the trail over other cardio because having nature around keeps me from giving in to the realization that I'm sweating and have miles to go. 

I'm going to be working overtime to get my head back where it should be.  Hopefully this will mean you'll get some entertaining posts out of it.