Friday, April 8, 2011

Eleven Beat Heart

I know this is a long post but's me.

So, I was sitting here on the sofa brooding about my day.  I had a hard mental working out kind of day.  Let me tell you a bit about it.  I got up at 5:05am.  Hubby was up already due to that ugly insomnia and was getting ready to go to the gym when he saw I was getting dressed.  I told him not to worry about going because I knew from his lackluster response to my 'Are we going to the gym' the night before, that he was tired but was going to go just because I suggested it.  I decided he needed a break and I would be lazy and do an easy workout DVD.  Well, I pulled out the Biggest Loser Boot camp.  I had only done this DVD two or three times since I've gotten it. I figured the 5 minute warm-up and the 20 minute Week 1-2 would be just enough to say I actually did something.  I'll never make that mistake again.  I completed it without stopping and did all the moves and when I was done, I was sweating buckets and my muscles certainly felt it.  Man oh man....easy this was not!  Sure, I'm in the gym or walking more often than not but when you work other muscles by doing other moves and getting the heart rate up in the process, you feel like you did the very 1st time you worked out!  My thought at first was that I'm not in the shape that I thought.  But that quickly changed into pride.  I had done the entire workout without stopping, using only the hardest moves (no modified versions) and learned some new moves in the process.  Hells yeah!  That was my euphoric mind.

That lasted about as long as it took me to get to work.  I swiped my badge and said hello to security and then entered Hell-Dom.  I swear it sucked all the euphoria out and replaced it with hormonal annoyance.  I was blasting music, drinking tea and talking myself out of being snappy and rude and hurting feelings on purpose.  I even put up my neon post-it on my monitor that said, 'You are not in control of your emotions'.  I think it worked for the most part.  My day went on like that most of the day.  Guess I should consider the fact that I actually had work a blessing.  Had I not, who knows what would have happened.  But by the times I was leaving, I was on the upper rungs of content. Probably because I was leaving. 

I got home and took the dogs out and met my new neighbor who seems pretty cool and we talked 45 minutes while her dogs chased my scardy-cat Sofie and Baxter egged them on.  It was a nice change of pace.  Husband came home just as we were going back in but he was preoccupied with homework and other things and my annoyance returned.  Wait...I was also watching a movie that I coined scary because it involved a ghost.  I was so into it but during the commercial breaks I kept dropping hints to him that I needed attention.  He was being a guy and everything flew over his head which further annoyed me.  But I looked at the corner of the television screen at the neon post-it that said, 'Let it Be'.  I think it worked for a while.

While I was sitting there, my hand was on my neck and I could feel my pulse.  I was a little surprised to discover my pulse pauses every now and again. Now don't get me wrong, I've always had an irregular heartbeat but this was different.  This one seemed to have a pattern.  Call me crazy but I swear it did!  I counted 11 beats and then pause.  Then back to the beat 11 more and pause again. I did this for all of 3 minutes and it was the same.  That's odd... I thought about telling my husband but didn't want to get annoyed if he didn't think it was as interesting as I thought it was so I kept it to myself.  I got up and made salads and ate and watched yet another movie.  I remembered to check the pulse again but this time it kept going with no pause. 

This 11 beat discovery reminded me again of why I am sweating it out in the gym and logging the miles on the pavement.  To be healthier.  This old irregular ticker of mine can either get stronger or weaker and I have a feeling it will be happier if I choose the strong.  I went years (15 to be exact) with cardiologists telling me I have to workout to keep my heart strong but somehow it didn't seem all that important.  I did the easy things like not smoking and drinking.  Had half-hearted attempts at losing weight.  Lost some, gained some back. But this time it is different.  I have an enthusiasm for being healthy and and excitement for being fit.  That has to count for something.  So, this eleven beater will have to serve me a few more years before it can rest.  Beat on people.

Quote of the day:
Wake up with a smile and go after life.... Live it, enjoy it, taste it, smell it, feel it.

No comments: