Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Not Alone But Doing It For Myself

'You have to do this on your own to be successful.  You can't judge your success by the motivation of others.'

This is what he told me after I voiced my disappointment with not being able to keep workout buddies.  He explained to me that creating that type of disappointment will only hinder my progress.  He was right.  I grudgingly agreed.   But why was I there to begin with? 

Let me rewind.  A few years ago, I lived with both my sisters. One day we all decided to take a walk after dinner.  I had already been walking after work so it was no sweat.  They weren't very physical so it was a little bit of a challenge.  Well, after about a week of doing this, we decided to make a pact to workout and support each other.  It was great!  I worked out in the morning and then that afternoon, we all did workout videos as well as a 30 minute walk.  There was enthusiasm and it was just plain fun.  What better workout buddies than your sisters?  It was great for about 2 months. We lost weight and that made us push harder.  But then came the downside.  With my sister's new motivation came new goals.  One worked at the University so she had free access to the school gym. The other was earning enough money that she decided to join a gym and get a trainer.  Well, I had no access to the school gym and I wasn't earning enough to justify a gym membership.  They left and I was alone once again.  It was disappointing and I pouted and moaned but there was nothing I could do about it.  Luckily, I do have that whole competitive thing going so I vowed to prove that I could be just as successful without the aid of a gym or trainer. And I did well.  They lost motivation and eventually quit.  I kept going and was successful until I moved.

Fast forward to this time around.  I've been working out with my husband and it's been wonderful.  He's a great motivator and encourages me like no other.  But as with some things in our lives, we take it for granted.  And I'm sorry to say that I did that.  I had started working out with my sister and a friend after work and it was great.  We had a good time and I loved seeing them become more and more motivated. But somewhere down the line, they quit.  That bothered me.  Truthfully, it made me feel like I had not done enough to keep them interested.  This made me doubt myself and my ability.  If I can't hold 2 people I know with my encouragement, how could I ever be able to do it with anyone else? It's a sad and pitiful and probably ridiculous conclusion to draw....I know.  But it was there nonetheless.  I moped for a little while until finally my husband asked me what was up.  I told him and he shook his head and gave me a talk.

Back to the first line of this post.  He's a wise man most of the time.  But after he gave me a good talking-to, I realized something what I was doing.  I was going on and on about how once again I had been left alone with no one to help motivate me.  I wonder if this hurt him because guess what?  He's been there the whole time and not once has he left my side. 

I apologized to him tonight.  He didn't want to accept the apology because he said even though he is there, this is still my journey.  With or without him, I have to find a reason to keep going for myself.  Just because someone else gives up on it doesn't mean I've failed.  I'm still doing it for me.  This was refreshing to hear and I know I need to commit this whole conversation to memory because there will come another pitying time when I need those words of wisdom so there's a good thing I can post it.

Quote for the Day: “Successful people aren't born that way. They become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don't like to do. The successful people don't always like these things themselves; they just get on and do them.”

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