I once heard that Muhammad Ali didn't like his workouts. If so, today I was channeling that dislike.
Today's workout was weird. Due to a family loss and very little sleep, we decided to nix the morning workout and vowed to do one this afternoon. My day was not bad but it also wasn't great. I picked up the mood after lunch (thanks to those dreaded fries Temptation Tammy pushed on me). When I got home, I was a little tired but had to take the time to talk with the sweet little older neighbor. She's a talker. After her I had to take out the dogs. When I finally got back in, the husband was there and he encouraged me to lay down and rest for a little while. I actually fell asleep for about 30 minutes. Probably would have slept more had I not received a text message. I got up and he's preparing some dinner salads. I was grateful and hungry. Then he says, 'Do you want to eat before or after out the workout?' I got a sinking feeling with a smidgen of frustration.
Wordlessly, I went and got changed and put on my shoes. May as well get this over with. Where did this attitude come from? I had no idea. We decided to do a walking workout and follow it up with the gym. About 15 minutes into the walk, I still had that feeling. The feeling that I just did not want to do this. In fact, quitting would have suited me just fine. But he was next to me and I kept telling myself eventually I would start to feel that 'thing' that keeps me going. Thirty minutes later, I told the husband 'I just don't feel right.' He said if I didn't feel well, we could go back home. It wasn't that I didn't feel well, I just felt....unmotivated? I don't know. This feeling is foreign to me. There was no reason to actually stop. We had gotten a good distance and turning around would not have made any sense.
When we got to the park, we made the circle (uphill first). Upon finishing the loop, he asked me if I was feeling better. I nodded no knowing full well that he intended to make that dreaded circle again. I didn't complain. I made the circle. I still didn't like it. We finally headed back in the direction of home and I was sweating something terrible. It was 98 degrees of misery. When we finally got home, he handed me the keys. He said 'You go home and I'm going to finish up in the gym.' I finally accepted that I was just plain tired. I gave in and went home. And it was good. I sat outside while the dogs did their thing and then was awarded with a nice cool shower.
Do I feel better? I can't really say. I'm glad to be done with it. Mentally, I'm very proud that I went through with it despite how I felt. Physically, my body is too tired to know if it feels good. Maybe I can determine that later. I do know I hope that feeling is a rare occurrence. I don't like feeling like I don't want to workout. It's too easy to give in to it. I guess this just goes to show me that I still have a long way to go.
Quote for the Day: "I hated every minute of training, but I said, don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life a champion." - Muhammad Ali