Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Lessons Learned

OK. So...it's been a year today.  A whole year that my Mama's been gone.  I miss her everyday but today was almost as hard as the day it all happened.  And oddly enough, I've handled it roughly the same way I did back then.  I haven't cried today.  Last night was another story but today, no tears.  I'm far from over it mind you.  I still hurt like no body's business but I know what I have to do now.  A year ago, I felt lost.  I didn't know what to feel.  I didn't know what to do.  I went into autopilot and made myself useful.  I cooked.  I cleaned.  I answered the phone and passed it to the nearest sibling.  Today, I once again went into that autopilot phase.  But this time, I was doing things a little different and doing it for me.  I went to the gym.  I pushed myself like never before.  I went to work.  I functioned fairly well and I even smiled.  I didn't much feel that smile inside but it needed to be done.  I went home and I walked 2 miles with my sister and a friend.  It was a good walk and I felt like I did something useful by helping them reach their walking goal that day.  My legs and my heart ached but I made it.  No longer was I lost or numb.  I felt it all and am fine with that. 

I believe in every tragedy, heartache, and mistake, there is a lesson to be learned.  Following my loss, I learned so much about myself.  I learned how to love like never before.  It's not something to keep to myself.  It's there for me to share and I will.  I have.  My husband has been so much to me.  He's been a wonderful support in everything and I love him more than I thought I ever could love a person that wasn't blood family.  I give him my love.  My family has always been there and I love them just as much.  But I've added a respectful love for all of them this year.  Everyone has grown to appreciate life just a bit more and none of them are shy about sharing that now and I think that is so awesome.  I totally respect that!

I've learned that I can do a lot of things that for years I told myself I said couldn't do.  I made a promise to myself that I would make myself healthy in my Mama's memory. It's what she always wanted for all of us. To be healthy. And I don't intend to disappoint.

I finally stopped trying to lose weight and decided to take measures to just be healthy.  And guess what?  The weight seems to be coming with that change.  I learned that it's OK to satisfy my needs first so that I can better serve others.  I've learned to stop putting things off no matter how hard it is to face.  I've learned that I can always make it on what has been given to me. I've learned to laugh and enjoy myself more.   I've learned that everything is going to be OK. 

Would I love to have my Mama here with me now?  Of course I would.  There are so many things I wish I could say to her now that I didn't then.  But I would never regret the relationship we had because of this.  God gave us a good run with her and we seemed to have made the best of it.  Now it's time for me to live the life that I always talked about with her.  I'm finally ready. 

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