Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Where Are You Now?

Don't worry about yesterday.  Where are you now?  I ask myself that question frequently.  It can pertain to anything.  Right now it concerns where I am in my fitness and weight loss journey.  I listen to the ladies at work who have once again made the resolution to lose weight. They talk food all day long but have yet to venture into being more physical.  They tell me it looks like I've lost more weight.  I don't know.  They don't know anything about my journey.  They only know I'm the one that is always trying to get people to walk, jog or put together a company team of some sort.  I'm the cheerful one.  I make everyone feel good. That's what I want them to see. They don't need to know that I struggle with wanting to eat some chips towards the end of the day. That the vending machine calls me every now and again.  Or that I sometimes really, really dislike going to the gym.  I like to keep this journey for myself.  Of course my husband shares in it as he is my biggest cheerleader right now.  But even he doesn't know of the struggle.  I stepped on the scale in the gym a few days ago and felt a little discouragement.  'But I've felt so strong and thinner!' I said to myself.  I tried to shake it off and move on to the strength training portion.  Unfortunately it was half hearted.  I kept thinking about that number.  This affected my performance. As a result, I didn't get the workout I had planned.  As I was showering, I was thinking how I kept going back to that number.  I've always told myself that the past should not dictate my future and I have to live life now.  That number was the past.  That workout was now the past...get over it!  So, instead of weighing myself, I have three articles of clothing I'm working towards fitting into.  There is a pair of denim cotton jeans (w/o any spandex), a shirt my husband had made for me in the Ivory Coast and my wedding dress.  I can squeeze in the jeans.  The shirt buttons but is not meant to be as snug as it is.  The wedding dress zips but is not nearly as loose as it was almost a year ago when I first wore it.  I call those my 'Where Are You Now' clothes.  I have included some pics.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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