I mentioned to my husband a few days ago that it seemed I don't have as many friends as I thought. The fact of the matter was most of the friends I thought I had were actually co-workers. Not saying that I did a heck of a lot with them outside of work but it filled the friendship slot enough for me to not feel the need to increase the number of people I knew.
Now that I am not working, I'm realizing those 'friendships' were actually convenient acquaintances. No one likes to say that but we all do it. When we are in school (college) or take a job, we take up with people that have little in common other than the the places we share (i.e. school or work). It happens without us actually realizing it. If we are lucky, we might actually get a couple of real friendships out of it but the others are fairly disposable. Once the shared thing is gone, so is the so-called friendship. We don't feel the need to keep in touch. We might wonder about that person but we don't put forth the effort to see them. You know you've done it.
The hardest part is when you realize you have been put in that disposable category. Does it hurt? Hm....I think it's more of a surprise. I for one never wanted to admit having put anyone in that slot but I've done it time and time again. It's only after being one that you see it. Once the association is lost, you don't do much to try to keep the friendship going unless you shared something other than that one association. So, here I sit with time on my hands and no one to share it with. I mentioned all this to my husband. He said,'That's how it is when you become a real adult. You realize the not-so-nice ways of human nature and move on.'
I decided I need to work on making some new friendships that didn't involve work. I looked into meet up groups but haven't found one that peaks my interest. I did join the running group but we only meet up a couple times a month. But then something happened that made me rethink how I was doing this.
A long lost friend found me on facebook. It had been 10 long years. We worked together when I first moved to her hometown. I only lasted on that job 2 months but hers was one of those work-ships that turned into a real friendship. Sometime after I quit, we lost contact because we both has some pretty heavy things going on in our lives. But thanks to social networking, we are once again in contact.
She invited me to an end of summer party. It was to be after 9pm on a Saturday night and the location in the less than desirable drive past downtown. I can honestly say unless it was life or death or something of that magnitude, I would normally have turned this down without a doubt. I like my evenings clear for that 10:30pm bedtime option. But because of the conversation with my husband and the fact that it's been nearly 10 years, I figured I would give it a gander.
We showed up at her door at about 9:15 intending on staying only an hour or so. Well, turns out there was some pretty good margaritas, an awesomely beautiful display of homemade sangria and a salsa instructor. There was a nice mix of people and most were our age or older. You don't know how much more comfortable it is when you party with people closer to your age. And there were plenty of men for my husband to hang with. It was truly a good time. She and I caught up and it was like those years never lapsed. I told her about my lack of friends in this city I've lived in for almost 6 years. She insisted that we have to renew our bond and discover new friendships together. It was a nice suggestion and I was game.
After dancing (and sweating), drinking and meeting so many new people, the husband and I realized we had stayed well over midnight. We decided to head home. It was such a nice time and I can say that I made some new acquaintances but I found an old friend. I think I should consider exploring those (old friendships) a little before trying to make new ones. I am thankful for the work-ships turned friendships, but am also thankful for the friendship of convenience. Without those, I'm not at all sure I would have enjoyed half the time spent in the classes or the workplace.
Sunday, August 14, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
Good Days
Today was one of those days. You know the good days where everything falls into place regardless of how much you freaked out. I'm satisfied with it. I had a decent walking only workout, got some creativity flowing, had lunch with an awesome friend and got a couple more books to fill in the remainder.
The Husband and I did an easy walk this morning. No hills but plenty of sweating anyway (there wasn't even a hint of a breeze on this route). We didn't push as hard as we normally do. I think the husband was suffering some soreness from his swim yesterday but I didn't complain. It was 7am and I my motivation was less than stellar. Once it was over, I felt great. So glad we both pushed ourselves to at least get a 3 miler out of the way.
Here's our walk:
The quote today is actually about weight lifting but I'm using it in relation to me wanting to be fit but not exactly wanting to put forth the effort to get there. I don't want to but I know I HAVE to.
Quote of the day: 'Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weights.'
The Husband and I did an easy walk this morning. No hills but plenty of sweating anyway (there wasn't even a hint of a breeze on this route). We didn't push as hard as we normally do. I think the husband was suffering some soreness from his swim yesterday but I didn't complain. It was 7am and I my motivation was less than stellar. Once it was over, I felt great. So glad we both pushed ourselves to at least get a 3 miler out of the way.
Here's our walk:
The quote today is actually about weight lifting but I'm using it in relation to me wanting to be fit but not exactly wanting to put forth the effort to get there. I don't want to but I know I HAVE to.
Quote of the day: 'Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weights.'
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Through It All, I Smile
OK. So the powers that be have decided that I should kick my 21 Day action plan into high gear. It has indeed been a roller coaster day of emotions. But I must say, I think I did okay. I got up in a chipper mood. Found that the husband had already taken the dogs out to do their business. I was feeling so good, I decided Sofie and I would go hit the trail. She pulled and barked at any and everything and was threatening my mood. In fact, she did crack it. I was so annoyed with her, I picked up my pace after realizing she was getting tired. Yep...I did it and almost got away with it. Then guilt set in. She only barks to protect me...uhm...herself. Can't blame a girl for keeping her dukes up right? So, after a while I let it go and we slowed to a fast walk instead of the jog.
Then mid morning, I decided it was time to get some groceries. I went to the bank and because Walmart was next door, decided to fill my grocery list there. Wrong! I got as far as the Advil and Vitamin B-12 before deciding I couldn't do it. There were so many people and kids there. All seemed to be congregating where I needed to be. I had forgotten school is about to start. I payed for my loot and high-tailed it out of there.
Fast forward to H-E-B grocery. I had to pick up meds. I stood in line for about 5 minutes before this little older lady comes and steps in front of me. I politely said, 'Excuse me, I'm in line.' She screwed her full-of-character (aka wrinkled) face at me and rudely said, 'I was here first but forgot something' and turned around. I was so taken aback. My 1st instinct was to tell her where she could go but then I talked to myself. I said, 'Self, she's older. Probably had a hard life from the looks of it. Are you in a hurry?' I told myself she was ancient, angry and I was in no hurry. So, I did nothing. Well....I told her the next time she leaves the line to get something, she should put a grocery cart there to hold her place because likely she won't come across someone as nice as me! She scoffed and turned around. Whatever.
After retrieving the medicine, I pulled out my list to shop. I was doing so well smiling and taking my time. This gift of time is great for shopping. I had time to pick out the best produce, the latest expiration date on the dairy and sample the sushi. I made it out of there with no more scrapes with the long-living set.
I spent the rest of the day reading, applying for jobs, cooking and some light cleaning. Somewhere along the way, I started feeling less than chipper. No reason. I checked the calendar and more than likely, it has to do with the Big H. Yep...hormones. I really gotta find a way to soothe that savage beast. In any case, the husband chose today to walk home instead of calling to let me know he was done. He comes in and wants to know if I want to hit the trail. I told him he can't be playing with this type of heat. He already walked 30 minutes to get home carrying a heavy backpack and nothing to drink. Besides, it was so obvious he wanted to swim. He told me he feels bad getting exercise and me not getting any. Well, it's not like it's his fault if I don't hit the gym when he's not here. So, I kicked him to the pool while I finished dinner. While he was gone, I sat and sulked and whined and finally picked up my book to finish reading it. That was a mistake because the kid in the story died and that made me tear up. But all was not lost.
I happened to get up to check on dinner and Baxter was at my feet. He's sitting there with his left paw protecting one toy and his right protecting the other. Ears are standing at attention and he's watching Sofie who is crouched across the room intently staring at him. She stares and then seems to lose interest and starts licking herself. I look at Baxter and he seemed confused by her lack of interest. I had to laugh at that.
Then my husband came back after his swim and again asked if I wanted to workout. I rolled my eyes at him and told him to go and shower already. He goes in and gets out of his swim trunks. I walked in on him in the bedroom. I burst out laughing and he was confused. I asked him if he's always worn underwear with his swim trunks. He said yes. I smiled and walked away.
So, the point of all of this is that no matter how down I get (even when there is no reason), if I look hard enough, I will always find something to smile about.
Then mid morning, I decided it was time to get some groceries. I went to the bank and because Walmart was next door, decided to fill my grocery list there. Wrong! I got as far as the Advil and Vitamin B-12 before deciding I couldn't do it. There were so many people and kids there. All seemed to be congregating where I needed to be. I had forgotten school is about to start. I payed for my loot and high-tailed it out of there.
Fast forward to H-E-B grocery. I had to pick up meds. I stood in line for about 5 minutes before this little older lady comes and steps in front of me. I politely said, 'Excuse me, I'm in line.' She screwed her full-of-character (aka wrinkled) face at me and rudely said, 'I was here first but forgot something' and turned around. I was so taken aback. My 1st instinct was to tell her where she could go but then I talked to myself. I said, 'Self, she's older. Probably had a hard life from the looks of it. Are you in a hurry?' I told myself she was ancient, angry and I was in no hurry. So, I did nothing. Well....I told her the next time she leaves the line to get something, she should put a grocery cart there to hold her place because likely she won't come across someone as nice as me! She scoffed and turned around. Whatever.
After retrieving the medicine, I pulled out my list to shop. I was doing so well smiling and taking my time. This gift of time is great for shopping. I had time to pick out the best produce, the latest expiration date on the dairy and sample the sushi. I made it out of there with no more scrapes with the long-living set.
I spent the rest of the day reading, applying for jobs, cooking and some light cleaning. Somewhere along the way, I started feeling less than chipper. No reason. I checked the calendar and more than likely, it has to do with the Big H. Yep...hormones. I really gotta find a way to soothe that savage beast. In any case, the husband chose today to walk home instead of calling to let me know he was done. He comes in and wants to know if I want to hit the trail. I told him he can't be playing with this type of heat. He already walked 30 minutes to get home carrying a heavy backpack and nothing to drink. Besides, it was so obvious he wanted to swim. He told me he feels bad getting exercise and me not getting any. Well, it's not like it's his fault if I don't hit the gym when he's not here. So, I kicked him to the pool while I finished dinner. While he was gone, I sat and sulked and whined and finally picked up my book to finish reading it. That was a mistake because the kid in the story died and that made me tear up. But all was not lost.
I happened to get up to check on dinner and Baxter was at my feet. He's sitting there with his left paw protecting one toy and his right protecting the other. Ears are standing at attention and he's watching Sofie who is crouched across the room intently staring at him. She stares and then seems to lose interest and starts licking herself. I look at Baxter and he seemed confused by her lack of interest. I had to laugh at that.
Then my husband came back after his swim and again asked if I wanted to workout. I rolled my eyes at him and told him to go and shower already. He goes in and gets out of his swim trunks. I walked in on him in the bedroom. I burst out laughing and he was confused. I asked him if he's always worn underwear with his swim trunks. He said yes. I smiled and walked away.
So, the point of all of this is that no matter how down I get (even when there is no reason), if I look hard enough, I will always find something to smile about.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
21 Days to Conquer the Ninny
So, I didn't get much sleep last night. I had a ton of things running up and down the hall of my mind. I read somewhere this weekend that every now and then, we should just open up our minds to all thoughts. Well, I guess it didn't stress that time shouldn't be bedtime because my body seemed to think that's when it should be. I was a floodgate of thoughts, ideas and randomness. Can't say that I got a lot out of that midnight brainstorm. I did make one decision and that was to try and create another good life habit. You might not know that a few years ago I made a promise to myself to try and smile and at least look positive regardless of how I felt. I read that if you do a thing for 21 days, it becomes habit. Well, I don't know that it took 21 days but it's been about 3 years and now it is habit. Try as I might on the hard days, I can't still my face from smiling when I look someone in the face. It did indeed become habit.
I decided to do this again. This time, it has to do with the negative thoughts that sneak in when I'm feeling lonely, weary, mad, sad, tired, or just plain beaten. You know the ones where you are just walking along and something pops in your mind that tells you that you haven't accomplished much? Or you are working out and you tell yourself that you can't do a move because you are too tired when you know your body is just fine? Or when you lose your job and know it's a good move but then there is a small voice asking 'What if...?' As positive as I try to be, even I can't stop some of those from invading my thoughts. I think I have worked hard to push them away. What I want now it to move beyond the push. I want to pummel them. Trampel them. Smash the hell out of them. Annihilate them! OK...I'm a bit dramatic but you get my point. I don't want them. They never have and never will do me any good.
I can do this. There is nothing spectacular about a negative thought. They come as fast and as simple as one can imagine. No complexity about them. This is something that should be easily conquered. No equations or symbolism needed. I figure I need to meet the 'Negative Ninnies' head-on if I wish to rid my mind of them. No more pushing them away or to the side. I just gotta get in there and get dirty and fight to the finish. And here is where the positive battle shield comes in. The NN will say, 'But can you?' I will ignore that question because those are what the NN's build on. You hear it, you think it, you start to believe it and bam! You stumble and are at risk of changing that question into 'No, I can't.' So, hells yeah I will finish and I will win.
Twenty one days to conquer this pest. Yeah....I can do it.
Quote of the Day: "Complain and remain. Praise and be raised." ~ Joyce Meyer
I decided to do this again. This time, it has to do with the negative thoughts that sneak in when I'm feeling lonely, weary, mad, sad, tired, or just plain beaten. You know the ones where you are just walking along and something pops in your mind that tells you that you haven't accomplished much? Or you are working out and you tell yourself that you can't do a move because you are too tired when you know your body is just fine? Or when you lose your job and know it's a good move but then there is a small voice asking 'What if...?' As positive as I try to be, even I can't stop some of those from invading my thoughts. I think I have worked hard to push them away. What I want now it to move beyond the push. I want to pummel them. Trampel them. Smash the hell out of them. Annihilate them! OK...I'm a bit dramatic but you get my point. I don't want them. They never have and never will do me any good.
I can do this. There is nothing spectacular about a negative thought. They come as fast and as simple as one can imagine. No complexity about them. This is something that should be easily conquered. No equations or symbolism needed. I figure I need to meet the 'Negative Ninnies' head-on if I wish to rid my mind of them. No more pushing them away or to the side. I just gotta get in there and get dirty and fight to the finish. And here is where the positive battle shield comes in. The NN will say, 'But can you?' I will ignore that question because those are what the NN's build on. You hear it, you think it, you start to believe it and bam! You stumble and are at risk of changing that question into 'No, I can't.' So, hells yeah I will finish and I will win.
Twenty one days to conquer this pest. Yeah....I can do it.
Quote of the Day: "Complain and remain. Praise and be raised." ~ Joyce Meyer
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Record in Breezier Times
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| Trees suffering in these temps...so sad to see brown. |
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| Ducks heckle us on the way home because we are forever empty handed. |
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Free and Filled Days
My life is a little different since the job loss but only a little. If nothing else, I'm pushing to be better than I ever was. This generally means trying to begin and finish all the things I have been putting off and starting and finishing new projects. Yes...this means I have confidence that something better will come along eventually. I'm not one to sit and wait for something to happen anymore.
I completed that patio project. It is about as good as I could get on a small budget. I fully intend to add more more plants as soon as we are released from this terribly crazy thing called Summer. I cannot see myself subjecting poor plants to these endless triple digit days. So, I will wait until fall. Come on Fall!
I've also upped my workouts now that I am free to enjoy the cooler morning temperatures. Sofie and I have been frequenting the less populated industrial part of the neighborhood. The scenery is not as green but there are hills and so few joggers that I don't have to deal with her vicious albeit harmless barking and snarling. We walk a very brisk pace and run a minute every 5 minutes. By the time we hit 2 miles, she's generally worn enough to walk beside me with the 'J' shaped leash. For those of you with a pulling dog, you know how much that shaped when finally achieved, is appreciated. In the evenings, the husband and I hit the trail and then the gym.
My Dad has been with us all weekend and will be with us for the remainder of the week. He's a walker as well and can move at a pretty good pace for someone aided by a walking cane. He gets up very early and makes a mile and a half walk around the pond and then back home. I try to make it with him if I'm up early enough. If not, Sofie and I catch up to him as he's ending his. I'm so proud of the fact that at 64, he makes sure he keeps moving. I'm working to make sure I will be that and more by the time I'm his age.
I also dusted off Lola, my bike. Yes, it still feels like someone kicked my butt (Literally!) after riding but I intend to get adjusted in the near future. Maybe I will just invest in a larger seat. My trunk junk ain't no joke and that seat seems to be wanting to play one on me! But I will beat it.
I have been spending some good quality time with the puppies and that's a challenge. They expect so much out of me! I can only toss the toy and chase them so many times a day. But it keeps me moving and it keeps my mind from resting on things it shouldn't. Between them, the projects, the gym and the husband, I have hours of activity. I'm confident I will be OK with this gift of free time. Enjoy it while you have it as the husband would say. No need to litter it with worry.
That's about it for me.
Quote of the day: Do not put a question mark where God put a period.
I completed that patio project. It is about as good as I could get on a small budget. I fully intend to add more more plants as soon as we are released from this terribly crazy thing called Summer. I cannot see myself subjecting poor plants to these endless triple digit days. So, I will wait until fall. Come on Fall! |
| The usual suspects...Baxter and Sofie |
My Dad has been with us all weekend and will be with us for the remainder of the week. He's a walker as well and can move at a pretty good pace for someone aided by a walking cane. He gets up very early and makes a mile and a half walk around the pond and then back home. I try to make it with him if I'm up early enough. If not, Sofie and I catch up to him as he's ending his. I'm so proud of the fact that at 64, he makes sure he keeps moving. I'm working to make sure I will be that and more by the time I'm his age.
I also dusted off Lola, my bike. Yes, it still feels like someone kicked my butt (Literally!) after riding but I intend to get adjusted in the near future. Maybe I will just invest in a larger seat. My trunk junk ain't no joke and that seat seems to be wanting to play one on me! But I will beat it.
I have been spending some good quality time with the puppies and that's a challenge. They expect so much out of me! I can only toss the toy and chase them so many times a day. But it keeps me moving and it keeps my mind from resting on things it shouldn't. Between them, the projects, the gym and the husband, I have hours of activity. I'm confident I will be OK with this gift of free time. Enjoy it while you have it as the husband would say. No need to litter it with worry.
That's about it for me.
Quote of the day: Do not put a question mark where God put a period.
Monday, August 1, 2011
July Lessons
I got this ideal from a friend who says she lists what she's learned at the end of each month. I'm a day late and a dollar short but it's all good. I don't know what the rules are so will just list some things.
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| Even when I'm feeling plump, I smile because I can. |
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| Reflection by the water really does ease the mind. |
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| Humor and laughter always helps. |
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| Don't ignore the warnings. They always mean something... |
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| Excitement and action always ends with peace and quiet. |
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| I look forward to the walk, not just the destination. |
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| I can remember the past and still smile in the present. |
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